Embracing the peace of bordeom

Sometimes a new perspective knocks you off your feet. Sometimes, you read words and think "huh, well then, that can change things." Reading someone else's words that put your feelings on paper, or reading someone else's words that make you change the way you think - that is why I read. That is the power of words.

Boredom, restlessness, longing. I struggle with these feelings, often. Usually when I feel this way a trip to the ocean with my notebook or - if I'm extra lucky, a trip - can do the trick to get me back to myself. But not always, sometimes it's deeper. I remember after my dad died I went to therapy and my psychologist told me that I had been living in such a state of stress and excitement (not the fun kind), that regular life seemed boring to me. Wasn't that the truth. At this point in my life I felt so bored and restless, I had gone to see A Star is Born three times in theatres. Three! That is at least two times too many. While that experience of boredom was the result of a stark contrast to how I had been living previously, I still find the mundane and the monotony of daily life can leave me feeling...restless. So, when I read the above quote in the lovely, heartbreaking, beautiful book Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, I was slightly dumbfounded. Of course boredom can be happiness. Of course it is actually the experience of peace and comfort that is masquerading as boredom.

We all have to do boring things, it's part of human life. Eat, sleep, clean, bathe, grocery shop, laundry. The list truly goes on and on. But what a luxury normality is. When things go sideways, as they inevitably do for all of us throughout our lives, how much do we miss normalcy? When I was in grad school I had to walk past the university hospital every day to go to class. On the hard days I would often remind myself that I wasn't in the hospital and that if I was in the hospital, I would much rather be walking to class. A gentle reminder to be grateful for what you have. A few years later, when I lived in an apartment close to the provincial jail and would hear the guards over the speakers, I would think to myself how glad I was to have freedom and not be in prison (to be clear: I am an upstanding citizen and have never actually been close to jail time). When we don't have normalcy, it is the exact thing we crave. When life is chaotic don't we all think "I just want things to go back to normal."

Yeah, life can be boring. And maybe sometimes the boring does need a little zhuzhing (I don't want to give the impression that life is only disastrous chaos or boring monotony!) But boring can be peace. Boring can be calm. Boring can be beautiful. When life gets boring, go look at the ocean, or a sunset, or the stars. Go have a glass of wine. Go read beautiful words that get you out of your rut and out of your head. Go and enjoy and appreciate the simple, normal, small things in life.

How lucky we actually are, when things are so peaceful they are boring.